Remember the great times you both enjoyed when dating and during your early days of marriage. Discovering your sexuality. Dining out. Setting up a home. Yes those were the days. She was the beautiful apple of your eye. He was your handsome prince. You couldn’t wait for the day to end so that you could almost see the sparks fly in the heat of passion.

Now that the days and years have passed and the sparks have faded to a dull glow far off in the distance it’s really time to take inventory and see what can be done to bring those great times back again.

Taking inventory. Every business must take inventory on a periodical basis. They get out the charts and computers and literally count every item in stock. These figures are tallied up and compared against the figures relating to the purchases from manufacturers and or distributors. The difference is compared to what was sold. If there are shortages the business must check it’s security. Over time stuff goes missing.

The same idea can be compared to marriage. We start off with physical attributes. Great personalities. We take care with our clothing, personal hygiene, manners, respect, conversation, dining and dozens of other things that go into courtship and early marriage years.

When did you last take an inventory of your behavior with these items?

First. Take a look at your physical attributes. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Do you like what you see? Do you have extra inches where you didn’t have them before? Take a serious look and tell the truth. If you were someone else looking at you would you be thrilled? Not too happy? Turned off by what you see? This self evaluation is tough to do as we hardly ever see ourselves through the eyes of someone else.

Second. Good personality and conversationalist. Take inventory of how you talk with your better half. Do you dominate the stage? Do you let the other partner carry the conversation. Are you a good listener? A good listener is much more interesting than a good talker. Do you devote more time to the TV or internet than talking with your spouse?

Third. Clothing and personal hygiene. Remember back then when you were dating. You would shower and dress to the hilt. You wanted to look your best when you went out. Take a look at you now. Do you dress like a slob? Baggy track pants, an old tee shirt. Haven’t shaved for three days. Again, take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Would you be attractive to anyone.

Fourth. Respect. Possibly the most important check point of all. Remember the old expression “familiarity breeds contempt”. It is so easy to slip away from respecting your mate. As time passes we may find that the shine has come off the marriage excitement, but that is no reason why we should not respect our husbands or wives. Men especially may find themselves referring to their wives as “the wife”. That may be acceptable when telling someone about “the dog” but never someone who you respect. Remember, you married your spouse. He or she is your life mate. Treat him/her with love and respect.

Fifth. Dining. This may seem to be a strange check point but think about it. How many of us work all day, arrive home hungry and stressed? Why not take a little time to wash up, change clothes, and sit down to dinner refreshed? My wife and I breakfast out once weekly. It is amazing how many others show up in the restaurants dressed like slobs. The men sit down wearing the baseball caps and never take them off. Some ladies copy the bad manners they display. Why? We have seen this happen dining out in the evening as well. Take inventory folks.

Keeping your marriage hot is a never ending exercise. It takes work, patience and time. If you do the job with diligence your spouse will love you for it and your marriage relationship will reap the rewards.

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